There’s a reason so many leaders talk about wanting a coach like Ted Lasso.
For those unfamiliar with it, Ted Lasso is a television series available on Apple TV+. It follows an American football coach hired to lead an English Premier League soccer team, despite having no background in the sport. While framed as a comedy, the show has become a cultural reference point for leadership, care, and belief.
What makes Ted Lasso resonate is not the humour or optimism. It is the way coaching is portrayed as something deeply human.
At its core, the show presents coaching as the practice of building belief before asking for performance. That sequence matters. Especially now.
Many leaders are operating in environments shaped by constant change, pressure, and uncertainty. People are being asked to adapt faster, take on more, and carry emotional weight that is rarely acknowledged. In that context, how coaching is done becomes consequential.
Coaching is not about answers
There is a persistent belief that coaching is about expertise. That the value lies in having the right answers and offering them at the right time.
Ted Lasso challenges that idea quietly. He shows up with curiosity rather than certainty. He listens more than he speaks. He asks questions that slow conversations down and allow people to hear themselves think.
That approach is often misunderstood as softness. In practice, it requires discipline and confidence. It also produces deeper change.
The most effective coaching does not revolve around telling people what to do. It creates the conditions for people to understand themselves more clearly and take responsibility for what comes next.
Why coaching often appears at moments of tension
People rarely seek out coaching when everything feels settled.
Coaching tends to surface during moments of transition. Stepping into a bigger role. Navigating a restructure. Questioning a career path that no longer fits. Managing others while privately feeling unsure yourself.
Sometimes coaching is chosen. Sometimes it is offered as part of a role. Either way, the quality of that support matters.
When someone is already stretched, anxious, or questioning their identity, the wrong kind of coaching can compound the problem. It can reinforce performance at the expense of honesty. It can push solutions before clarity. It can leave people feeling managed rather than supported.
People deserve better than that.
Coaching is not a single thing
Part of the confusion around coaching comes from the breadth of the term.
Some coaches draw heavily on their own experience and operate in a mentoring style. Others focus on diagnosing problems and recommending actions. Some prioritise performance metrics and behavioural change.
Each approach has a place. The issue arises when the style of coaching does not match the moment a person is in, or when expectations are unclear from the start.
When leaders reflect on the coaches who genuinely shaped them, the ones they still talk about years later, a consistent pattern emerges.
What effective coaching looks like in practice
1. Questions that reshape thinking
Effective coaches help people hear what has been sitting beneath the surface. Often it is a thought that has been avoided because it feels risky or inconvenient.
Rather than filling silence or rushing to advice, great coaches listen closely. They notice hesitation. They reflect back what they hear. They ask questions that invite deeper thinking.
Over time, those questions stay with people. They become part of how individuals make decisions and understand themselves.
2. Insight connected to action
Reflection is valuable, but it does not create change on its own.
The coaches people remember are those who helped translate insight into movement. Small, practical steps that shifted habits, decisions, and confidence over time.
They also followed up. Not to apply pressure, but to signal care and attention. During periods of change, accountability can provide stability rather than stress.
3. Lived experience of uncertainty
The most trusted coaches do not rely solely on frameworks.
They understand uncertainty because they have lived it. They have questioned their own direction, started again, or had to unlearn patterns that once worked.
That experience shows up in how they listen. It shapes their empathy. It builds trust without needing to be announced.
4. Space that allows honesty and growth
If someone feels they need to perform or defend themselves, meaningful growth is unlikely.
Effective coaching creates space for honesty. It allows people to examine familiar stories from different angles. It invites reflection without judgement and challenge without threat.
This combination is where new perspectives emerge and old patterns loosen their grip.
5. Clarity that carries forward
Leaving a session feeling lighter can be helpful. Leaving feeling clear is more powerful.
The mark of strong coaching is clarity about what matters, what is changing, and what responsibility someone is willing to take next.
That clarity tends to compound. It influences decisions long after the session ends.
Choosing a coach with intention
Before committing to a coaching relationship, asking a few direct questions can prevent frustration later.
Ask how the coach defines coaching and what they see as outside its scope. Ask how they balance reflection with action. Ask what personal experiences have shaped how they work. Ask how accountability is handled. Ask how progress will be noticed and measured.
Pay attention to how these questions are answered. Language reveals approach.
Once coaching begins, the signals become clearer. Effective coaching continues to shape thinking beyond the session. Questions resurface. Patterns become easier to notice. Decisions feel more intentional.
Support is present without creating dependence. Challenge exists without judgement.
What Ted Lasso ultimately reminds us
One of the show’s most quoted lines is that success is about helping people become the best versions of themselves.
That idea resonates because it reflects what many leaders sense but struggle to articulate. Performance that lasts is built on belief, clarity, and trust.
Good coaching is rarely loud or showy. It does not rely on charisma. It works quietly, over time, through presence, attention, and care.
When coaching is done well, people are not given scripts to follow. They develop the confidence to write their own.
A simple place to start
If you’re considering coaching right now, I invite you to take ten quiet minutes and ponder:
Where am I relying on answers when what I actually need are questions and challenge?
Write down one question you’ve been avoiding and bring that into your next conversation.
People are more capable than they believe. A coach like Ted could help you realise it.
